Tuesday, April 22, 2014

SOMEBODY LOVES HAM


then.
now.
Sweet Cheeks had a bang up Easter and was pretty much the hit of the day (outside of Jesus, that is).  We had a sweet friend let out her Easter dress that she wore last year and it's amazing to see how big she's gotten.  And I miss that little baby.  This kid is all over the place.  She was picking up eggs (ceramic, because Mommy left the eggs at home), getting into the bunny cake, decorating the bunny tree and going down the slide in her dress and tights and well we'll throw those away now.

If you've ever wondered what it looks like when an ipad hits I-40, just let me know.  I can show you.  That's all I'll comment right now about that.  Or not.  Mother trucker I am hidyhotickedoff about that one.  You would be too.


So anyway, Emma ate ham and bunny cake and smashed green beans into her face.  She had a great time and likely too much of a good time because when she returned to school the next day, she thought it appropriate to bite three kids.  Spoiled rotten to the point of madness.  We'll have to reel her in real quick or it'll be a permanent take your kid to work kinda situation.

We had our awesome neighbors over the night before Easter - David grilled some flank steak which he marinated in some chimichurri garlic something or another sauce and shut the front door it was tastyness.  The kids played exceptionally well and Sweet Cheeks had suuuuuch a good time running and screaming and learning all of Boy Boy's little tricks of daredevildom.  But, a wonderful time and we love them and are sooo very glad they moved to us. 

The whole idea was for Cheeks to be involved in bunny cake making, but Mommy was tired and schedules were such that she was present only for the baking of the cakes that make up said bunny cake.  She spent most of that time thankfully in her cabinet, and only got the burger press out once or twice illegally.  We did the cake up with Grandmommy after Em went to bed so everything worked out A+ and there was way too much coconut involved but you have to know the bunny needed to be fluffy.  After decorations, David named him Demetrius.  Hilar.

And now we are back to regular scheduled programming and oh my goodness I love only working 4 days a week.  Only I didn't cause I also worked Saturday, so no rest for Mamaweary over here.

It was just a good time and if the kid will stop biting and screaming, we could possibly turn our life into the Brady Bunch.  Without the housekeeper and 5 extra kids.  Of course.

ooooooooooh and guess who now can run to Chipotle for lunch!!!  That's right, Lent is ova.  Time for a burrito bowl of goodness.




Tuesday, April 15, 2014

NOT MY KID

This made for a bang up morning.
I'm afraid that Emma isn't mine.  Granted, she has my nose and my mannerisms and is sweet (like her mama obviously), and has her Daddy's cheeks and big head.  The kid pops cherry tomatoes in her mouth like I would a peanut M&M.  She eats bowls of guacamole at Mexican restaurants.  She passed on frozen yogurt and will eat fruit until she explodes.  So, when presented with a surprise it's Tuesday breakfast of sausage and eggs (livin large in the Dirty D), she opted instead for a blueberry muffin and tomatoes.  Thank goodness, we'll always be able to stay at a Hampton Inn now, just for the continental breakfast.

Cheeks also requires monitoring.  She climbs on tables and tries to jump off.  She has figured out our super intricate baby gate.  She jumps up and down on the couch and lands on her face.  Giggling like a school girl.  She clearly has a wonderful time raising my blood pressure, but the sound of her belly laughing is awesome.  She moves from crying to smiling in about 4 seconds, for no real reason at all.  She likes to throw things, mainly the remote control.  She enjoys giving Gracie a pinch every now and then and will chase her like a zombie around the living room.  I'm looking into prozac for the cocker spaniel.

We will be making our first annual bunny cake for Easter this year.  Emma is going to help and I hope that this doesn't ruin me from baking ever again.  It certainly has the potential.  She has a fully smocked bishop dress, complete with Easter shoes in which she'll get to eat ham from the Honey Baked store rather than from a can.  I think we'll throw out some eggs in the yard and see what happens.  My guess is that she'll just start running and I'll have to chase her.  Youtube a plenty.

I am busy busy at work and only wish to take naps.  I think I jammed an ear plug pretty far in my ear last night in order to drown out baby Daddy and the monsoon that blew over our house.  It didn't come out til I yanked it this morning and that rarely is the case.  Gracie has eaten more ear plugs than I can count, which I suppose mean her system of purchase and return is pretty efficient.

I can't get over how absofreakinglutely cute Emma is.  I could watch her all day and smother her with kisses.  I want these moments to last, because I am MISSING my baby Emma badly at this stage of the game.  I am so pathetic, but it's all good cause I am Mommy.  Mommy is allowed to be a little schizo from time to all the time.  I get knocked down a pedestal when she starts the Cece Winans concert.  Only so much a person can take before they want to send a kid to Goodwill.  And then I get a little less sappy.

Cause I like a challenge....we must now start the planning for the beach and the 2nd birthday.  What will we do????  It is gonna involve a charity and chicken I think.  Nevermind.  Girlfriend is not allowed to turn 2.  All good in the hood.

I need a mother truckin nap.


That's my dawg.


Friday, April 11, 2014

A LOT


I am busy and I am tired and I am the last person that should be writing about how busy and tired I am.  I only have the one baby and the one job and the one husband and the one house.  I could be classified as whiny like Emma, but no.  She is the whiniest of them all.  Especially between 5-7 pm.  But possibly also before that and after that too.  She wants to be held, she wants her pa-pa, she wants her ba-ba.  And then when you think you've just had about enough, she chases Gracie and starts laughing hysterically.

It's at this point that the Perry parents should apologize to our second born dog for bringing a baby into the house that pinches and pulls on her puppy jowls and essentially makes life rough for a Gracie.  Sorry Grace.

I am also sorry to Emma, for not being always as understanding about your needs as perhaps I should.  I am sorry that sometimes I am toooooo attentive to your wishes, which means that I succumb way too often and have maybe created a whinypants at school.  Perhaps its a phase of life, but Emma wants what she wants and wants it yesterday.  So frustrating at times.  She hears "stop" and "no" more often than she should, and much more often than we'd like to say.

She is becoming more and more a little person, which is sad and scary and awesome.  She can repeat words back to you and will remember what sound a cow makes.  Needs prompting on the sound a cat makes (we don't like cats, so probably just as well) and is getting proficient in her 100 first words book.  I think she told her Daddy that she loved him.  And the words "no" and "uhhhh" are real big these days.

She loves to be outside and we take her for rides on her tricycle when we can.  She always goes to get the mail with her Daddy and will crawl up her high chair if you utter the words breakfast, lunch or dinner.  I found her reading Shakespeare the other night, or maybe it was Elmo.  Either way, she is a fan of puzzles, Elmo and the plastic cups that cheerios come in from Chickfila.  Whatever gets us out of the restaurant alive is usually the name of the game.

We dinnered with our friends the Hermans at said Chickfila a few weeks back and it was quite the hit.  Emma didn't want to leave the play area, so I enticed her with a trip to the restroom and back, as well as a short stint running the register (she ran behind the counter before I could say waffle fries).

She out eats us occasionally and on our next mealtime adventure, she will cry and be "all done" completely before I even put the plate down.  I think she's expecting beef wellington or at least massive amounts of fruit.  She eats decently well, but could do a lot better.  She's not a mac and cheese girl, but loves her spaghetti.  Crazy kid.  She likes to pick up her soccer ball with her hands and will dunk the basketball now.  She's tall enough to do things like that.  WTH.  She likes to crawl into the cabinet like the kid from Christmas Story.  I even gave her some milk in there one time.  Then she handed me my Corningware dish and oh hell to the no get out of there.  Except I didn't tell her that, I just retrieved my breakables and gave her one whole cabinet for the taking.

David filled in a hole in our yard from the tree cutting with dirt.  That was exciting and involved my Dad, a load of "fill dirt" and a patter downer.  I am certain there's a real name for that thing, but I don't care.  We discussed buying a natural gas grill, which would require us to run a natural gas line.  We would love to, but we're not rich.  So we'll use charcoal like normal people.  I had visions of deck parties and wine bottles poppin.  The struggle is real.

So, Emma is now playing outside more, getting taller and her pants are falling down.  She comes home in different pants most of the days and yesterday came home with pants that weren't even hers.  I don't even wanna know what went on with that.  We exchanged pants this morning and I will remember the day I sent her to school with white leggings.  My bad.

We are having a wonderful start to our summer, which isn't really summer cause it's chilly.  Someone starts swim lessons again in a couple of weeks and will celebrate her second Easter.  I hope the ham we feed her this year is received much better than the jar of ham she got last year.  Looked straight out of something from Petco.  Word on the street is that we're making a Bunny cake.  Yay....  I mean, I am making a Bunny cake and letting Emma get Emmaspit all over it and allowing the decorations to end up on top of the dog and in David's mouth.  But hey, at least I'll get to go eat lunch at Chipotle when this thing is over! :)  hashtag Lentenpromises.............


video









Wednesday, March 19, 2014

YEAH WHATEVER

I am not sure in which part of life I determined that it would be a great time to have a baby, but I assure you it must have been when I was fully rested.  Because I sure wasn't Monday night, and I am not today, thanks to a little thing I like to call break Mommy down to where she has to eat Nutella from a spoon at 3 am.  The evening started off much like all of the others.  Miss Cece Winans was doing her thing when we asked her to please stop turning on the Playstation and to remove her body from the kitchen cabinet.  We thought dinner might appease her - the finest of hamburger steak, straight up from the fresh produce section steamed broccoli and something called "baby cakes," which were a cutesy way of saying Jewish potato cakes or something?

Well.  No.  She likes to have carrots, so I pulled that rabbit out of the fridge and she ate some carrots.  And she likes things with a sauce.  Oops.  Her delicate palate received none of that and I'm guessing she was a bit hungry when she woke up standing and yelling and crying like an animal at 1 am.  My plan of feeding her what we eat and not succumbing to the culinary desires of a 19 month old maybe didn't work out so well, as I had just gotten to sleep when it awoke.  No amount of shushing worked, though she did stop drop and roll a couple of times.

Either way, Mama Bear is about to fall asleep at the unemployment office once my bosses realize how sleepy I am.

Bed. Head.
Bless Emma's heart, she wakes up all jazzed and ready to start her day.  I wake up and almost put David in a headlock.  We wake differently it seems.

Saturday was Mom's birthday.  We celebrated by really doing nothing but having some fish tacos and almost putting Emma up for adoption.  I miss her a lot and really think she would love Emma more than life.  It just sucks and it will suck next year and the next.  So, not sure why I keep saying it...Pity party busted.

Gracie turned 9 years old on Monday - my St. Patrick's Day puppy.  Can't believe she's that old.  I have had her since she was 8 weeks old and she was the cutest little brownest fluffiest thing and I love that dog so so sooo very much.  She was my girl when Mom got sick and then when Mom passed away.  She moved houses, met a David and got a baby.  Lots of stuff going on in Gracie's world.  Happy Birthday Caroline Grace!

I am super excelling at my newfound idea to not eat lunch out for Lent.  This means I am saving a butt ton of money and it seems to be a good way to live.  Though, there's gonna be a day when I just need Chipotle.  Thankfully it is not today!


Emma is 19 months old and we are already thinking about her education.  Probably should do more of this teaching thing at home with her, but she wants to eat her books and rips the flashcards from our hands.  And, if we can get the paci out of her mouth, she's either mute or screaming.  No time for word repetition.

Clara: "tell mommy what the cow says Em"
Emma:

Clara: "can you say apple?"
Emma:

Emma (walking around aimlessly):  "noooooo"

I know she knows and I know she can, but she won't. 

But I am sooooo very much wanting to send her to this school we'll call Trinity.  And it's not a public school, which means money shall fall from the sky and we'll use it for tuition.  And holy hell it's just kindergarten.  Which should mean, happy joy doesn't matter if it's public or private because they are but little kids.  However, it sets the stage for her future educational endeavors.  And I want her to love to learn and want to learn and be learning with other people who will learn and push her to learn.  My alumni status of the city schools says that this might not happen in the free route of schooling.

Imma throw this fit right here.
Supposedly I have 4 years to figure it out, but worry worry.  Next thing you know, I'll be helicoptering all over colleges and the Pottery Barn Kids (oh wait.).

Whatever.  I am so over it.  Until tomorrow.  Or tonight at least.

Emma celebrated St Patrick's Day in style, wearing green and pitching a fit.  All good.  She ate a couple of pieces of cabbage, which made her fart a few times.  She thought it was hilarious and said something about "I poot."  I think.  I can't understand my own kid.

She is into everything, climbing onto anything (she climbed onto the dog gate, knocked it over and then said "noooo", as if it wasn't her fault).  She makes us laugh, she makes us frustrated, but she is amazing and we couldn't imagine her not being here.


Monday, March 10, 2014

NO EXCUSES

"helping" Dr. Dunk
The only real excuse I have for not getting on here and typing up more words about the awesomeness of Emma is that I've been busy, real busy.  At work.  At home.  Everywhere.  And I haven't been able to motivate myself to type words of the coherent variety.  That would require thought and patience and other things of which I have none of.  Emma has taken most of my patience and stomped it to the tune of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  She's also been amazing.  So, you win some, you lose some.

But life's been interesting the last 3 weeks.  We've tried hard to buy a Jeep and then not buy a Jeep.  I came home the winner that day.  Emma now wants to control her dining destiny, which sometimes ends up with her making pudding out of avocado.  She can feed herself with a spoon and relatively little (40%) airborne food.  She fed herself some yogurt from a bowl a couple of days ago and I was proud of the lack of yogurt on the kitchen counters and ceiling.  She'll say "all done" when she's finished (after some prompting to use her words and not her throwing arm).  Either that, or will send the rest of the bowl/tray/plate flying.  We make her pick up all of the drops when she gets down, but I don't think she cares that flying food results in free Emma labor.

She ate chips and salsa and followed it up with some guacamole....and then tossed her bowl across the restaurant for good measure.  I'm sure we'll get there someday, that day just isn't today.  She spilled water from the spout on the fridge all over herself and I told her it was just water...she says "wa-ta."  Criminy how cute.  We gave her some stir fry the other night and she yelled "oh, boy!"  For real.  In a previous life, I would add broccoli and call it gourmet, but now I add all kinds of onions and carrots and peppers, oh my, to make lil bit get a taste of other foods that her mama wouldn't a touched.

the calm before the storm that is 18 month shots.

She has a boyfriend at school, but we can't let Daddy know.  Little Logan likes to hug and kiss on her, but Cheeks will beat up Logan if he gets too sassy....word on the street.  I told his Mom and I think she thought I was kidding.  Maybe not.


Gracie, my little cocker, has been infirmed with a back problem as of late and is just now getting the go-ahead to be a free roaming dog.  Emma liked to climb her gate to the laundry room and still does, if it's up.  She'll also climb on the kitchen table.  Last night she hoisted herself up there while we were trying to get her high chair ready and grabbed her food, ready to eat dinner.  Lest we have broccoli and pasta stars all over the kitchen, I grabbed her before things got rowdy.

basketball museum!
She got into the cabinets, as always, several weeks ago and ended up breaking in pieces my Williams Sonoma mixing bowl.  Seeing as how it was a wedding gift and something I don't use so that I don't mess it up....well, girlfriend had to take a trip to the restroom to compose herself, cry and compose herself again before going absolutely berzerk on the kid.  Still a bit salty on that actually.

Since she was born, Sweet Cheeks will lay on your shoulder relaxing before her bedtime or whenever she just wants to lay her sweet head down on you.....it's at these times that she likes to rub on your upper arm.  And it's so sweet.  And it's when I discover that her nails are as sharp as a Swiss Army knife.

She likes to put her puzzle pieces into her purse.  She'll gather her purse, bucket o' shapes, bucket o' shapes with noise and anything else she can throw on her shoulder and announce that she's going "byebye."  This typically happens when we're not going anywhere, so she travels to the kitchen and enjoys her stay.  The purse has, however, made it into the car the past two drive to daycare mornings for Mommy.  Sometimes it's just not worth it.

Dook gameday!
a bathingsuit.
on my kitchen table.
Emma, my preciousness, turned 19 months old a few days back (on the 3rd for those keeping count), and celebrated around that time by waking up at 5:45,6, 6:15....whathaveya, and just about drove me bonkers.  Because, you see, when homegirl doesn't sleep late, she misses out on some sleep we previously counted on.  And then she is tired and cranky and whiny and is about to be Biebered on back to wherest she came from.  David and I are united on that front of please no more of this insanity.  I hope she's turning the corner, but she was up and at em (them?) this morning at the breakfast time of 6:41.

David has a knack of getting her to go back to sleep by shushing.  You can tell his mood by how he shushes.  This morning was a "I'm in a hurry to get to work" shush.  Last night at 2:30 am was a "stfu" shush.  But no matter the shush, Emma reacts.  As soon as he shushes, she hits the deck like somebody said bomb.  And, with that, she slept another whole hour!  I'm going to rent him out as shusher for hire, I'm sure in the baby kingdom we call Durham, people will be knocking our door down in no time.


Buuuut outside of that, she couldn't be more cute and expressive.  I like the cute expressions best, not the yelling schizo ones.  We tend to get more of the latter and I think schoolmates get the former.  Ain't cool girlfriend.  I am sad sad sad that her next milestone comes with a 2 attached to it.  20 months, 2 years old.  WTfudgefactory.  I want to hold a lil baby Emma more and more and again some more.

Good job on the growing up Emma, we are proud of you and your smartness.

this is what Coach K did to Emma
by not driving 8 miles like the
rest of America.