BIRTH. DAY. WEEK.

June 2, 2013

I am not sure where the time has gone, as I was awake for much of the past year, but somehow my little baby girl is about to turn ONE year old.  Her birthday is on Saturday, the day after we leave for the beach.  When she returns from the beach, she will start her mornings in the "toddler" class.  I am certain that she is not a toddler and I don't know where they got that from.  She is also expected to drink out of sippy cups and eat what they call "table food."  The sippy cup transition is NOT going well.  She eats the cup.  She throws the cup.  She knocks the cup over.  Anything but drink out of the cup.  And if you try to make her, whining with a capital W.

So anyway, we celebrate the birthday week of Emma.  One year ago, I was wrapping up a looooooong swim meet during which I sat on a chair like the beached whale that I was.  Prayed that no one puked, or fell down, or broke the timing system.  Those issues would have required me to get out of said chair.  Less than a week later, here comes Emma.  Therefore, I blame NCAC for my early baby.  I am not sure the extra three weeks would have prepared me accordingly - I am still going at this mother thing without a clue, by the seat of my pants, guessing (and googling) every day.  Thank God for google.  

With her birthday will come some other changes, ones that will give me part of my life back.  I am going to stop pumping in the middle of the night.  *wait for the choir to sing*  I will still pump during the day and eventually get down to a lunchtime pump.  And that is it.  That IS. IT.  I have made my peace with it and David has provided his blessing (not that it was needed, but his support is awesome).  It's hard to up and make the decision, but milk is slowing down, Emma is eating more food and, honestly, I am just done with it.  I wanted to make it to a year and here we are.  I am proud of myself and of Emma.  It's not been easy on either of us (especially the me part of us).  I can feel the sweet taste of freedom already!  It helps that we'll be in a 2 bedroom beach condo with no place for pumping in the night, so....perfect timing.  ..... now let the guilt train come to town.