Dear Baby Perry,
Tomorrow you will be 32 weeks old. You weighed in at 3 pounds, 15 ounces on Monday, which means you are half a pound more than your Mom weighed when she was born. Feel free to keep that weight in check for the next two months. The nurse who looked at you said you were perfect and normal in every way. I wanted to make sure it was just you in there and that your head wasn't too large. I saw your brain and hope you are developing it - you'll need some strong witty banter to talk back to your Dad with. The nurse also said you are hanging out in there in your own urine. It's really gross to just chill out in your own pee, but thankfully you haven't pooped. I'll be really mad at you if you poop and just sit there. Stop kicking me, I will kick you back when you come out. It's nice to know you're active, but let's pretend you aren't a linebacker for a while. Perhaps when your Dad puts his hand on my belly, you'll kick for him - he'll like that a lot.
I washed your clothes and linens this weekend and am starting to organize your room. Gracie already ate one of your toys - I am sorry, it was a turtle and it looked like one of her toys. I'll talk to her about not eating you before you get here, don't worry. I hope your Daddy can put your crib together, otherwise, you get to sleep with him and the dog. We bought a kitchen table this weekend and I know you'll have lots of fun doing your homework on it. Please use a sippy cup, apparently the wood is susceptible to watermarks. Your mother currently feels like she's carrying a watermelon around town and the word on the street is that you are just going to get bigger. I don't see how that's possible without you coming out of orafices that weren't previously there. As we get closer to D-Day, I will let you know what I need from you as far as your coming out party. You really need to be respectful of me and the cavities you've been hiding out in for the past 7 months, so I'll give you a step by step guide of how to come out. Please adhere to it and make sure they hose you down before you come laying on me all pee-infested and whatever else you're covered in. Kidding. But no seriously, be nice to me on that day. I'm going to provide you drugs if possible, so it's a win-win for you.
I think you have my nose and your Daddy's lips. That's what your Grandma determined anyway. I suppose we should start playing you calming music and talking to you in soft tones. We've been listening to rap music and probably using bad language. I hope this hasn't impacted you yet - it's been a stressful few months for all of us. You are going to love the house we bought for you and can't wait for you to see it. Please forgive me if I tell you I want you out of me in the coming weeks. It's not you, it's me. I feel like it's a catch 22 - my body goes back to it's irregularly regular state and I lose out on sleep and all control for the next 18 years. But either way, we'll be happy you're here.
Love you lots my little unnamed one (no, we have some names),
Mommy
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