THINGS I MISS

In no particular order, here are some things that I miss since Emma joined our family.  Emma should know the sacrifices it takes to have such a cute child, in case she ever thinks she wants to have one as well.  This thought process better not occur before age 30.... 

I miss Emma.  Every day.  Even the days I am home with her, I miss her when she goes to bed.  Please note that I prefer she stay in bed and that I don't physically see her again until the morning.  I sit at work and think about her.  She's making friends and learning new things without me all day.  Perhaps it's time to pick up a Powerball ticket.

I miss sleeping.  I LOVE to sleep.  I used to love weekends where I could sleep in and David would make breakfast and then we'd just sit in our pajamas until we got motivated to do something besides clip coupons.  As it stands, I sleep approximately 3-4 hours per night and not all at the same time.  Often, not in the same location.

I miss not having milk shoot out of my boobs.  And I miss not actively trying to get them to do so.  It's a lot of pressure to be the sole source of sustinence for a person, especially a cute little person.  The way that we go about ensuring this daily milk is ridiculous.  I sometimes get sad that I miss out on conversations and activities because I have to leave the room in order to strip down for lunchtime.  But I do it for my little Emma and I am proud that I am able.  I try to remember that at 4 am when I am praying that I can get one more ounce to complete her bottles for school.

I miss just up and going to Buffalo Wild Wings with David.  And having beverages.  And staying up playing Wii or watching The Hangover whilst somewhat buzzed.  The spontanaeity of life is gone and I didn't remember how much I enjoyed that part of our lives.  Planning my life in 2-3 hour increments.  Want to run by the mall after work?  Sure.  Go to the game on Saturday?  Of course.  Oh hold up, we got a baby.

 I miss not packing the car like we're going on a week-long vacation just to go to Target.  Or finding hot water so I can heat a bottle, lest I sit in the car in a parking lot and feed Emma straight from the source.

I miss having a hot dinner with David at the time that dinner is actually made.  And then sitting at the table and eating it.  The same goes for breakfast and lunch.

I miss being surprised in the morning by my emails and facebook posts and what's going on in the news.  Why?  Because I read it already at 4 in the morning.

I miss that people were excited to see me when we arrived somewhere.  Now they just want to see Emma.  I'd have it no other way, but don't expect me to dress up as much if I don't get the love.  It's just not worth it.

I miss sitting on the deck and having wine.  At whatever time I wanted to have wine.  Because somewhere inside is an Emma who needs supervision and shouldn't have wine-tainted milk.  Not only would she be drunk, it'd be some nasty milk.

All that in mind, I love having a family and a little girl that I can take at least 50% credit for.  I love the dog and the house and the Volvo.  I love our parents and our families and how much they, in turn, love Emma.  I would never in a million years trade Emma for my previous life, but if I could just get a babysitter and relive those glory years for a day or two, I'd be mighty grateful.