HELLO DARLIN'

Dear Baby Perry,
Tomorrow you will be 32 weeks old.  You weighed in at 3 pounds, 15 ounces on Monday, which means you are half a pound more than your Mom weighed when she was born.  Feel free to keep that weight in check for the next two months.  The nurse who looked at you said you were perfect and normal in every way.  I wanted to make sure it was just you in there and that your head wasn't too large.  I saw your brain and hope you are developing it - you'll need some strong witty banter to talk back to your Dad with.  The nurse also said you are hanging out in there in your own urine.  It's really gross to just chill out in your own pee, but thankfully you haven't pooped.  I'll be really mad at you if you poop and just sit there.  Stop kicking me, I will kick you back when you come out.  It's nice to know you're active, but let's pretend you aren't a linebacker for a while.  Perhaps when your Dad puts his hand on my belly, you'll kick for him - he'll like that a lot. 

I washed your clothes and linens this weekend and am starting to organize your room.  Gracie already ate one of your toys - I am sorry, it was a turtle and it looked like one of her toys.  I'll talk to her about not eating you before you get here, don't worry.  I hope your Daddy can put your crib together, otherwise, you get to sleep with him and the dog.  We bought a kitchen table this weekend and I know you'll have lots of fun doing your homework on it.  Please use a sippy cup, apparently the wood is susceptible to watermarks.  Your mother currently feels like she's carrying a watermelon around town and the word on the street is that you are just going to get bigger.  I don't see how that's possible without you coming out of orafices that weren't previously there.  As we get closer to D-Day, I will let you know what I need from you as far as your coming out party.  You really need to be respectful of me and the cavities you've been hiding out in for the past 7 months, so I'll give you a step by step guide of how to come out.  Please adhere to it and make sure they hose you down before you come laying on me all pee-infested and whatever else you're covered in.  Kidding.  But no seriously, be nice to me on that day.  I'm going to provide you drugs if possible, so it's a win-win for you.

I think you have my nose and your Daddy's lips.  That's what your Grandma determined anyway.  I suppose we should start playing you calming music and talking to you in soft tones.  We've been listening to rap music and probably using bad language.  I hope this hasn't impacted you yet - it's been a stressful few months for all of us.  You are going to love the house we bought for you and can't wait for you to see it.  Please forgive me if I tell you I want you out of me in the coming weeks.  It's not you, it's me.  I feel like it's a catch 22 - my body goes back to it's irregularly regular state and I lose out on sleep and all control for the next 18 years.  But either way, we'll be happy you're here.

Love you lots my little unnamed one (no, we have some names),
Mommy

THOSE ARE THE BREAKS

So each year, I look forward to certain things with great anticipation.  Obviously, Christmas is one of the tops on the list, as I get to see family, have egg nog and, of course, get time off of work!  Outside of those general types of holidays, I absolutely LOVE going to the beach and to my yearly 311 concert at Walnut Creek.  I think I was born to live at the beach, but since I don't, I have to make pilgramages to the holy sand.  David's mom has a timeshare smack on top of the beach in North Myrtle, a place where I can watch Jerry Springer on the couch WHILE watching the waves crash down.  It's a slice of heaven, I tell you.  With it being a timeshare, we go the same week each year, and her week is always the beginning of August.

My other indulgence is the 311 concert at Walnut Creek.  This occurs every July and it is SO MUCH FUN.  It's the one time where I engage in adult drinking and then bop my head, jump up and down and scream lyrics to songs that I love to scream lyrics to.  I would go to more concerts if I could, but this is the one that I insist on.

So, it seems we have a predicament.  A dilemma.  A problem that has no real solution.  I've already missed a ski trip this year, and the river trip, while great, could have been much better.  Baby Perry is supposed to come in 2 months.  I am large.  I am puffy.  I probably would not react well to heat.  I cannot drink.  All of which makes the predicament less so, as I really am not sure the best time would be had at 311.  I cannot drink or jump or likely do much bopping.  My time at the beach is spent with pomegranate martinis, banana boats and laying out in the sun all day.  I am not sure I can do too much of any of those things, especially in August.  In North Myrtle Beach.  I can think of few things I'd rather tell Baby Perry than "I'm sorry darling, you were born in Myrtle Beach and that's why you have that tattoo on your arm."

Yes, it appears that the end of my summer will have me laying around the house like Jabba the Hutt, rather than a 311 groupie and beach bunny. 

So.  Sad.

HAIR IN A BISCUIT

That sounds gross but, as my Dad would say, Baby Perry is hanging in there like a hair in a biscuit.  Today I am 30 weeks, which means nothing much to me other than the kid has all of her stuff and it's just getting better as I marinate.  There are many good things about this point in her life, one of which means she could be born at any time and likely survive.  The other is that she is getting feisty and likes to comment on my food selections during the day.  A good 15-30 minutes after I eat, she's punching me or at least rolling around wondering when the Mexican food will end.

Had a quick doctor's appointment this morning.  They keep scheduling these things - a trauma in itself for someone who does not like the doctor.  Anyway, her heartbeat is again good.  Mine is too after walking back down to work from the hospital.  There will be another ultrasound in a week and a half to check her growth.  Hello????  Not sure it's necessary, I am a walking advertisement for Chick-fil-a as we speak.  Blood pressure up as always, but this time they are going to give me medicine in a real dosage to combat it.  I like to say they are worried for nothing, but what do I know - they didn't cover this on Grey's Anatomy and certainly Mom and I never got to have this conversation.  The doctor on the phone (my health smart coach, who will assist me in waiving my co-pay when Baby Perry does officially come), warned me about preeclampsia???  and blood clots????  Nothing like talking to doctors who are worried about your blood pressure who like to say things that only increase your blood pressure.

But, we are doing well.  My to-do list is long.  My energy is short.  My comfort is gone.  At least Gracie is cute and David loves to rub and talk to my belly.  He thinks he's talking to the baby.  He's really talking to that taco I ate at lunch (he thought the baby talked back).

I saw a new doctor today - the fourth one that I have now seen.  I like her the best.  She laughs at my jokes and doesn't act all "why so serious..."  Maybe I'll ask her to catch the baby when she comes.

We are still loving our house and enjoying the space it offers.  Yet, we still hang out in the same room.  That will probably change when the baby shows up.  We added to our registry at the baby store last night.  The clerk was a guy who we thought was gay, mostly because he worked in a baby store.  Then he mentioned his wife, which helped lend some credence to the things he was saying.  Could have fooled the heck out of me.  He said something about a lot of women just "whip them out" in the middle of the store (when we were on the breast pump and coverings aisle).  I feel like a 13 year old in that aisle.  Whenever someone says nipples, I just start giggling.

I should probably grow up a little bit in the next two months, or me and the kid will be on the same mental level.  I don't think that's how it's supposed to work.

MOVIN ON UP LIKE THE JEFFERSONS

So, we did it.  We bought a house and moved into it.  David, mostly, moved into it.  All of our stuff magically appeared on a truck and then was carried inside while I was at work.  We owe friends and family lots for their help, we couldn't have done it without them.  Yesterday was the first day that we came home from work to a new, terrifically awesome house that I can't believe is ours.  (well, it's Wells Fargo's for the foreseeable future).  Here it is:

We have a garage, and trash containers that the city actually picks up by our driveway.  Never again do we load trash into the trunk and drive around the corner to the dumpster!  There are times where I lose the cocker spaniel in the house, that's never happened before.  Gracie is adjusting well, now that our stuff that smells like all of us is in the house and she is still permitted to sleep on the tempurpedic with us each night.  We still have things spread across the Triangle area, including my office.  Someday soon we'll retrieve these items and find a place for them. 

I am tired.  Between the diving meet at work (I had to wake up earlier, not because it was loads of manual labor), and moving, I'm just worn out.  Baby Perry hasn't helped matters by swelling my feet, insisting on giving me heartburn and making general comfortableness impossible.  These are things that I will tell her about when she's older, so that she appreciates the warmth and nourishment that I'm providing her.  Also, so she won't stick me in a crappy rest home.  Our next steps are figuring out her nursery.  She's going to have one, and a nice one - we purchased a fancy rocker glider with ottoman for a heck of a good price.  It's almost brand new and we hope she will like to sleep in it with her parents.

Other thoughts about the past 2 weeks of craziness:
Packing sucks
Unpacking sucks slightly less
Chick-fil-a is way too close to the new house
I am addicted to Chick-fil-a
I miss my pool and laying out already (thanks to JBM, this tradition will continue)
I can make it to work in 9 minutes if all works out
I'm not moving again
Baby Perry better like this place
We sold our house to someone who just became an American last month
WE SOLD OUR HOUSE
I left my planter in the backyard of my old house and want to go get it back
I miss our old house (it was my first house and I bought it all by myself)
Target is way too close to the new house
David gets cranky when he's worked hard
David worked his a$$ off
I am tired of Game of Thrones, we have watched it for 3 straight days

We LOVE our new house!!!!